The Danger Hiding Behind “I’m Fine”
When my husband, Mathew, and I were first married, we headed to Hawaii for our wedding. For quite some time before we left, Mathew’s tooth had been bothering him, but like many of us, he kept putting it off, assuring everyone he was "fine." He was focused on our wedding. But in paradise, the pain only got worse. The tropical setting could not mask the deep, throbbing reality he had been ignoring.
When we arrived back in Maryland, we spent a little over a week getting settled at home. Then, on his birthday, I decided to take action. I asked him to join me for a walk in our housing development: a mixture of apartments, condos, homes, shops, restaurants and medical offices. Without telling him where we were headed, I walked him straight into my dentist’s office, pleaded our case, and got him seen. What the dentist told us was a stunning wake-up call. The infection in his jaw was so severe that if he had continued to put it off, saying "I'm fine," he could have potentially lost his eyesight.
Mathew’s toothache is a powerful metaphor for the spiritual and emotional pain we conceal. Mathew is not alone: we all do it at times. We say, “I’m fine” when reality could not be further from the truth. We push our feelings down, not wanting to fully expose the secret battle inside caused by fear, worry, anxiety, or sadness. We do not want to be perceived as a complainer, a downer, weak, or ungrateful.
Every time we ignore a persistent, throbbing problem in our soul—be it fear, depression, sadness, or feeling completely overwhelmed—we create an opportunity. "I'm fine" is a spiritual opening. It allows the enemy to have a field day in our heart and mind, convincing us that isolation is safer than honesty. We let a small infection of disappointment, anger, worry or sadness fester, believing we can handle it alone. We don’t realize the critical damage it is doing to our ability to truly see and live. We can miss so much that God has for us: deeper fellowship, stronger relationships, a chance to lighten our own burdens that come from living in a fallen world—and potentially lighten others’ burden.
In the next post, we will unmask the true nature of this battle and the unseen forces that encourage us to remain silent.